Obligations blur intentions. Discretionary choices expose them. When you look at non-essential purchases—classes, tools, gifts, travel, entertainment—you’ll see patterns: growth, connection, beauty, security, contribution…or avoidance and impulse.
The goal isn’t judgment. It’s clarity. Once you see the pattern, you can steer it.
Courses, books, gear → growth/mastery, curiosity
Trips, dinners with friends → belonging, love, adventure
Art, music, design tools → beauty, creativity, expression
Savings boosts, insurance, organization tools → security, order
Donations, gifts, volunteering costs → contribution, compassion
Frequent impulse buys, numbing apps → comfort, distraction, unaddressed needs
Pull the last 60 days of discretionary transactions (exclude housing, utilities, groceries, medical).
Tag each item with a value it served (growth, connection, peace, beauty, fun, security, contribution, comfort).
Group and total by value. Which three values got the most dollars? Which “top values” got almost none?
Name one misalignment. Example: you say you value growth, but comfort/fun dominates spending.
Design two tiny re-allocations (this month):
Shift $X from a low-alignment bucket to a high-alignment one.
Add one $10–$25 micro-investment that clearly serves a top value (tutorial, museum ticket, friend date, savings transfer).
Set a cue: every payday, move the chosen amount first (values before impulses).
Why this works: Money flows where attention goes. Pre-deciding small, repeatable allocations reshapes identity and experience without requiring a personality transplant.
Growth → monthly course/library fund; one small tool that improves a skill.
Connection → standing budget for coffees/walks/gifts of appreciation.
Peace → nature pass, therapy/copay fund, yoga drop-ins.
Contribution → auto-donation (even $5); set aside for helping a friend.
Security → automatic transfer to emergency fund; password manager; backups.
Creativity/Beauty → supplies, concert/museum line item you actually use.
One-in, one-out: for comfort/fun purchases, rotate—don’t endlessly add.
48-hour pause: impulse items wait; value-aligned items get fast-tracked.
Value first, then variable: fund the value buckets on payday before browsing.
Which three values did your spending truly serve in the last two months?
What $10–$25 re-allocation would make you measurably happier this week?
What tiny rule (pause, auto-transfer, calendar reminder) will protect that shift?
Your discretionary dollars are a mirror. Use them to confirm the values you want to live—or to course-correct with small, sustainable shifts. Repetition—not perfection—turns “what I care about” into “how I live.”
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program
Happiness Fundamentals | Needs | Values | Talents & Skills | Thoughts & Beliefs | Emotions | Empathetic Communication | Imagination | Life Purpose | Life Plan
