Identify Your Needs

Why needs come first

Needs are universal. We all have them. What varies is the mix and the priority in a given moment. When core needs aren’t met, your system shifts into survival mode. You read the world as unsafe, and work or home can start to feel like “getting through another day.”

Maslow is a map—your life is the territory

You’ve probably seen Maslow’s hierarchy. It’s a useful way to think about basics to self-actualization. But memorizing a pyramid won’t help unless you integrate it. This course is about living your needs in real time, not just naming them.

Needs and emotions travel together

Unmet needs broadcast through emotions.

If you need appreciation at work and don’t receive it, frustration and dread rise.
If you need love at home and feel disconnected, sadness or anger shows up.

This is good news: emotions are signals, not enemies. They point to the need underneath.

A quick example

Imagine you’re not feeling valued at work. Without naming the need, you might label the whole environment “toxic,” brace yourself each morning, and check out. When you name the need—to be appreciated and supported—you get options: ask for feedback, define success signals with your boss, or choose a project that showcases your strengths.

Try it: connect needs to your happiness (15 minutes)

Write three moments you felt happy or fulfilled. Be specific—who, where, what.
Identify the needs that were met in each moment (e.g., connection, growth, autonomy, clarity, rest).
Write three moments you felt unhappy or stuck. Again, be specific.
Identify the unmet needs in each moment (e.g., respect, safety, trust, recognition, ease).
Choose one tiny adjustment to meet a key need this week—something you can do in 10 minutes or less (ask for clarification, take a real break, send a check-in text, set one boundary).

Why this works: pairing events with needs turns emotion into data. You stop blaming yourself or others and start iterating on strategies that actually meet the need.

Reflection

Which unmet need most often pushes you toward survival mode?
Where can you ask for what you need with a clear, specific request?
What’s one 10-minute action today that would meet a top need sustainably?

What to remember

Your needs explain your feelings and your choices. When life feels stuck, don’t fight the emotion—find the need and adjust the strategy. Meeting needs well is how you move from survival to growth.

— Sandro Formica, PhD

Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])

Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program