When you expect hostility, your mind scans for threat and your day fills with confirming evidence. When you expect support, you notice resources, allies, and options—and you act differently. The belief becomes a self-fulfilling loop either way. Let’s make that loop work for you.
Draw two columns and fill each with quick bullets:
Feels Hostile / Against Me: moments, places, relationships, routines where you feel blocked, judged, or unsafe.
Feels Friendly / For Me: contexts where you feel backed, welcomed, or helped—however small.
Aim for at least 5 bullets per column. Be concrete (meetings, commutes, specific people, times of day).
Pick one item from the “Hostile” column and run these prompts:
Alternative read: What’s a plausible supportive interpretation?
Missing data: What fact would change how I see this?
Tiny experiment: What 10-minute action could test a friendlier lens today?
Example: “My team ignores my ideas.” → Alternative read: “They’re rushed and need TL;DR.” → Tiny experiment: share a 3-line summary before the meeting and ask for 1 specific reaction.
Write a one-line belief you’re willing to test for the next week:
“My environment contains more support than I currently notice.”
“When I ask clearly, I’m often met halfway.”
“Small experiments reveal allies.”
Post it where a trigger lives (calendar, laptop, mirror).
One line in your notes:
What evidence showed up today that my world can be friendly?
If none, name tomorrow’s tiny experiment.
We’re not positive-washing. You’re not forced to love everything; you’re training your attention to notice resources you can use.
Start tiny. A friendlier lens is built through proofs, not pep talks. Collect proofs.
Protect your boundaries. A supportive worldview includes saying “no” and leaving unsafe contexts.
Daily: one tiny experiment that assumes support (a clean request, asking for feedback, sharing a concise summary, taking a generous read first).
End of week: list your top three proofs that a friendlier lens helped you act better or feel steadier. Keep the belief if it’s working; refine if it’s not.
Your worldview is a lever, not a verdict. Map it, test it with small actions, and keep the versions that make you more effective and more at peace.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program
Happiness Fundamentals | Needs | Values | Talents & Skills | Thoughts & Beliefs | Emotions | Empathetic Communication | Imagination | Life Purpose | Life Plan
