Don’t tackle the deepest, scariest belief first. Start with one that feels changeable so you build momentum and proof. Each upgrade makes the next one easier.
Name one limiting belief
Write a single sentence, plain words (e.g., “I’m not good enough,” “Money is always scarce,” “Love never lasts”).
List real consequences (past)
Bullet specific moments this belief hurt you—missed chances, avoidance, self-sabotage. Make it concrete enough that you can feel why it needs to change.
Project the cost (future)
If this belief stays, what happens next month, next year? Name the losses you’d keep repeating.
Challenge it with counter-evidence
Recall at least one time reality didn’t match the belief—compliments you received, a supportive relationship, a money win, a lucky break. Gather more than one if you can.
Spot the hidden payoff
Ask, “How has this belief protected me?” (e.g., “If I expect failure, I can’t be disappointed,” “If I procrastinate, I have an excuse.”) Seeing the ‘payoff’ loosens its grip.
Write the empowering belief (present tense)
Flip the script and expand it into a short, positive, present paragraph. Avoid negations (“not”), avoid future tense (“I will”). Add gratitude and emotion so your nervous system can feel it’s true:
“I’m capable and it shows. People appreciate my work and presence. I’m grateful for the support I keep noticing.”
Support it with an action plan
Choose small, repeatable behaviors that make the new belief truer every day (skills to practice, tiny reps, cues in your calendar, environments that reinforce the shift).
Belief to change (Step 1):
Consequences I’ve lived (Step 2):
• __________________________________________________
• __________________________________________________
• __________________________________________________
If nothing changes… (Step 3):
• __________________________________________________
• __________________________________________________
Counter-evidence I’ve experienced (Step 4):
• __________________________________________________
• __________________________________________________
Hidden payoff that kept the belief alive (Step 5):
My empowering belief (Step 6, present tense, no negatives):
30-day support plan (Step 7):
Daily tiny rep (≤10 min): _________________________
Weekly proof to ship: _____________________________
Cue/trigger placement (where I’ll see it): __________
After-glow note (−2…+2 energy): _________________
Limiting belief: “People won’t support me.”
Consequences: I don’t ask; I burn out; I resent others.
Future cost: Keep doing solo marathons; miss bigger roles.
Counter-evidence: A mentor championed my project last spring; a friend edited my deck on short notice.
Hidden payoff: If I don’t ask, I can’t be rejected.
Empowering belief: “When I ask clearly, I’m often met halfway. I’m grateful for the support that keeps showing up.”
Support plan:
Daily rep: One clean request (“Could you review this for 10 minutes by 3 pm and comment on X?”).
Weekly proof: Share a 1-page update highlighting one assist I received.
Cue: Sticky note on laptop: Ask clearly, then notice help.
Feel the stakes. Steps 2–3 should sting a little—honest pain fuels change.
Collect proofs. The new belief strengthens each time you act as if and log a result.
Language matters. Present tense, no “not,” no “I will.” Write what’s becoming true now.
One belief per week. Depth beats breadth; repetition rewires.
Pick a belief that feels upgrade-able.
Fill Steps 2–5 with short bullets.
Write your Step-6 paragraph and read it out loud once.
Schedule tomorrow’s ≤10-minute action that supports it.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program
Happiness Fundamentals | Needs | Values | Talents & Skills | Thoughts & Beliefs | Emotions | Empathetic Communication | Imagination | Life Purpose | Life Plan
