A core value should unlock your best state—focus, energy, ease. Think about the times you enter flow: you lose track of time, feel deeply connected, and give your best without forcing it.
Sandro’s example: when he’s in front of an audience, he feels connected to something larger and enters flow. That experience tells him he’s expressing a true value.
How to run this test
Recall a recent moment you didn’t want to end.
Name the value you were living then (e.g., contribution, creativity, connection).
If nothing comes to mind, ask trusted people: “When do you see me at my very best?”
A value that’s vague won’t guide behavior. Translate each value into observable behaviors so you and others would recognize it.
Make it visible
Growth → “I seek small stretches daily and ask for feedback weekly.”
Connection → “I initiate one quality conversation each day.”
Freedom → “I say clean yes/no and stop over-explaining.”
If two people can’t agree on whether you lived the value today, define it more clearly.
Values shouldn’t drain you when practiced well. After acting on a true value, you feel more whole—even if it was hard in the moment.
Run a one-week experiment
Choose one value. Live it on purpose for seven days.
Each night, write one line: “After practicing ___ today, I felt… (energized / steady / resentful).”
If resentment or depletion lingers—even when you practice cleanly—this might be a borrowed value. Adjust and retest.
Pick 3 values you believe are core.
Flow check (6 min): Write one flow moment for each value—time, place, who, what you felt.
Behavior map (8 min): List 2 observable actions per value you’ll do this week.
After-glow check (6 min): Schedule a 1-minute nightly note: “Energy after practicing ___ = (-2 to +2).”
Why this works: You move from words to evidence—flow experiences, visible actions, and after-effects. Real values become repeatable behaviors that feel like you.
“When do you experience me at my best?”
“Which situations seem to bring out my best?”
“What do you count on me for?”
Capture phrases verbatim; they often point straight to your values.
Poster values (sound good, feel wrong) → run a 7-day test; keep only what energizes.
Too many values → focus on 3–5 so choices stay simple.
Abstract words → define 1–2 behaviors you can do today.
Which value most reliably puts you in flow?
What one behavior will you practice this week to embody your top value?
Which value might be “borrowed,” and how will you test that?
A value is true when it brings out your best, is clear enough to act on, and leaves you stronger after you practice it. Test, observe, refine—until your values consistently guide your day.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program
Happiness Fundamentals | Needs | Values | Talents & Skills | Thoughts & Beliefs | Emotions | Empathetic Communication | Imagination | Life Purpose | Life Plan
