Once you know what’s important to you, decisions get simpler—and you’re less likely to regret them later. Alignment increases the coherence between your being and your doing, so progress feels steady instead of forced. Values also make you unique: many people share similar labels, but your mix and weighting are one of a kind.
It’s common to discover that a value you’ve carried isn’t actually yours. We absorb priorities from caretakers, friends, schools, workplaces, and culture. If a value doesn’t fit your lived experience, acting on it will feel like wearing someone else’s mask—tight at first, then suffocating. Honest testing prevents years of misalignment.
Needs are about satisfaction—meeting what keeps you safe and steady. Values are about alignment—bringing behavior, language, attention, and choices into line with what matters most. No one is finished with either; both are ongoing practice.
You’ll explore a table of values (not exhaustive) to spark reflection, then narrow down to a small cluster that truly represents you. The goal isn’t perfect words—it’s an inner click of recognition that organizes your choices.
Initial scan (5 minutes): From the values table, circle every word that feels alive to you. Add any missing terms.
| Freedom | Power | Engagement | Versatility | Fame |
| Order | Generosity | Ethical Standards | Awareness | Accountability |
| Empathy | Integrity | Beauty | Justice | Stability |
| Cooperation | Experience | Resilience | Safety & Security | Success |
| Gratitude | Honesty | Ingenuity | Art | Friendship |
| Consensus | Comraderie | Innovation | Organization | Creativity |
| Amazement | Intention | Speed | Uniqueness | Contribution |
| Style | Competition | Peace | Growth | Trust |
| Certainty | Joy | Vision | Environmental Protection | Planning |
| Balance | Wealth | Predictability | Love | Family |
Narrow to 7–10 (5 minutes): Keep the ones that feel present in your best days—not the ones you think you “should” have.
Reduce to a core 3–5 (5 minutes): Imagine a week lived from these. Which set would you gladly repeat?
Write one alignment sentence each (5 minutes):
Growth → “I choose small stretches daily and ask for feedback.”
Freedom → “I say honest ‘yes’ and ‘no’ without guilt.”
Contribution → “I design work that helps real people.”
Run a life audit (10 minutes): From wake-up to bedtime, spot one place your behavior clashes with a core value. Name one tiny shift (≤10 minutes) you’ll do today to realign.
Why this works: You aren’t treating values as labels—you’re translating them into behaviors you can practice and repeat.
Choices feel more “I want to” than “I have to.”
Less second-guessing after decisions.
Negative emotions decrease in the areas you realign, and energy rises.
Pick one candidate value and live it on purpose for a week. If acting on it leaves you drained or resentful—even when you do it well—it’s likely not yours. Adjust the list and try again.
Which value best explains your recent frustrations when ignored?
What one small, repeatable behavior would express your top value today?
Where can you replace a “should” with a clean, values-aligned no?
You can’t be happy while living someone else’s values. Choose a small, authentic set and align your day around them. Keep testing and refining until your being and doing move together.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program
