Connection feels best when what you do together matches what you value. If you deeply value movement and nature, a whole day on the couch might leave you off-center. Suggest a walk, a park day, or a bike ride. If you value depth, invite a conversation prompt over dinner. When shared time reflects shared (or at least respected) values, you get the best of both worlds: the people you love and actions that feel like you.
Try it (5 minutes):
List your top 3 values this month.
Pick one person you see often.
Plan a 30–60 minute hang that expresses one of those values (walk, cook together, mini-project, museum hour, quiet tea).
Ask them what value they’d love to bring—co-design it.
Your job title isn’t the only lever. Personalize your tasks so they express your values. If you value growth, add a micro-stretch to a routine task (ship a 2-minute draft for feedback). If you value contribution, end meetings with one clear “who does what by when.” If you value order, close the day with a 3-line plan for tomorrow. Small tweaks turn the same job into work that gives energy back.
Try it (10 minutes):
Write three recurring tasks.
Next to each, note one value it could express (growth, contribution, order, creativity, connection).
Add a tiny upgrade to the next occurrence (ask for feedback; share one appreciation; 3-line plan; 10-minute prototype; check-in call).
After, rate your energy: −2 to +2. Keep what lifts you.
Perfect overlap isn’t required. Aim for transparent negotiation:
“I value being outside; you value unhurried time. How about a slow park walk with coffee?”
“I need focused deep work; you need quick alignment. Can we do a 10-minute stand-up at 9 and I’ll send a noon update?”
Clarity preserves dignity on both sides.
People: schedule one value-aligned plan with a loved one.
Work: add one value micro-upgrade to a recurring task.
Review: one sentence each Friday—What felt more like me? What will I repeat?
Belonging grows when shared time reflects shared (or respected) values. Meaningful work emerges when daily tasks express what matters to you. Align both, a little each week, and life starts cooperating.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program
Happiness Fundamentals | Needs | Values | Talents & Skills | Thoughts & Beliefs | Emotions | Empathetic Communication | Imagination | Life Purpose | Life Plan
