How Early Programming Shapes Your Reality

What a belief is (and why it’s powerful)

A belief is a mental filter—like a pair of glasses—that colors every input from the world and from within. Through that lens, you don’t just see reality; you see your reality. If the lens says “people aren’t supportive,” you’ll notice snubs, miss the help, and think thoughts that match the lens.

Beliefs → Thoughts (the tree image)

Roots: core beliefs (“The world isn’t safe,” “True friendship doesn’t exist,” “I’m on my own”).
Trunk & branches: recurring interpretations.
Leaves & fruit: the specific thoughts you hear each day (“They didn’t call—so I can’t trust them”).
Work at the roots, and the branches stop growing in the same old direction.

Where beliefs come from (0–6 years matters)

In early childhood, the brain is in a highly absorbent state. Experiences go in as if they were truth—before the brain’s “editor” fully comes online. If you grew up around conflict, scarcity, or mistrust, it’s common to absorb beliefs about money, love, honesty, or safety that never got questioned. As adults, we finally get to ask: Do these beliefs fit who I am and how I want to live now?

A 10-Minute Belief Map (start here)

Grab two columns and fill them quickly with examples from real life:

Column A — “Hostile / Against me” lens
Times, places, or people where you feel blocked, judged, unsafe.

Column B — “Friendly / For me” lens
Contexts where you feel welcomed, backed, or helped.

Now look under a few items from Column A and ask:

“What belief would make me interpret it this way?”
(e.g., “Support isn’t real,” “If I’m not perfect, I’m rejected,” “Money is always scarce,” “Authority can’t be trusted.”)

Circle 1–2 beliefs you’re willing to examine this week.

Test, don’t just argue (two simple tools)

1) The Opposite Hypothesis (fast)

Belief: “People don’t support me.”
Opposite to test: “When I ask clearly, I’m often met halfway.”
Tiny experiment (≤10 minutes): Make one clean, specific request today. Note the result.

2) The “Three Proofs” Journal (7 days)

Each night, write one line: Where did I see evidence that the world can be friendly today?
Small counts (a reply, a seat saved, a helpful article). At the end of the week, review your list. You’re training attention to notice counter-evidence.

Upgrade a belief (without lying to yourself)

Use language that feels workable, not fake.

From “The world isn’t safe” → “Some parts aren’t safe; I can learn to spot and choose safer ones.”
From “I’m on my own” → “I often act alone; asking clearly gets me allies.”
From “True friendship doesn’t exist” → “It’s rare and worth building with honest, small steps.”

Write your upgraded line. Post it where the old trigger lives (calendar, laptop, mirror). Pair it with one tiny action you’ll repeat this week.

7-Day Belief Reset (≤7 minutes/day)

Day 1: Map two columns (hostile vs. friendly). Pick one belief to test.
Day 2: Write your upgraded belief line; place it at a trigger point.
Day 3: Do one 10-minute experiment that could confirm the upgrade.
Day 4: Catch a matching thought in the wild; rewrite it on the spot.
Day 5: Ask for one small thing clearly (prove the “support” hypothesis).
Day 6: Note three tiny proofs you would’ve ignored before.
Day 7: Review: What shifted? Keep the upgraded line if it helps; refine if it doesn’t.

Reflection

Which childhood pattern might still be writing your present-day script?
What upgraded belief would make you more effective and at peace this month?
What’s one 10-minute action today that would test that belief kindly?

What to remember

Beliefs are filters, not fate. Early experiences may have set the lens, but adult you gets to adjust it. Change the root and the branches follow: fewer defensive thoughts, more useful actions, a life that fits who you’re becoming.

— Sandro Formica, PhD

Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])

Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program