This lesson focuses on psychological safety (not just food and shelter). Even if your environment is physically safe, you can still be running an inner alarm that keeps you stuck.
Survival mode decisions are driven by fear: avoiding risk, pleasing others, staying small, delaying what matters.
Growth mode decisions are driven by possibility: embracing the unknown in small doses, pursuing potential, evolving through reps.
You don’t switch modes forever. You choose them moment by moment—especially at decision points.
It’s tempting to think, “I’ll feel safe once the outside problem is fixed.” But the feeling of safety rarely arrives that way. Lasting security grows from inner practices that steady your nervous system and widen your choices—regardless of circumstances.
You can’t control every context. You can train your response to it.
Before you act, ask: “Am I choosing this to avoid discomfort—or to grow?”
If the honest answer is “avoid,” that’s data. You can still choose survival on purpose (sometimes wise). The key is to notice the pattern and keep room for a growth attempt next time.
Name one recent decision you made (or are about to make).
Tag the driver: fear-avoidance or growth-pursuit. One word only.
Shrink the risk: define a tiny growth version (≤10 minutes, low stakes). Example: instead of a big pitch, share a 2-minute draft with a friendly colleague.
Add one safety anchor: slow exhale for 60 seconds, a supportive self-statement (“I can learn in small steps”), or a boundary (“I’ll try once, then review”).
Do the rep and write one sentence: what you learned, what you’ll repeat.
Why this works: You’re building internal safety (calm body, clear boundary) while taking a micro growth step. Repetition lowers fear and makes possibility feel familiar.
Waiting for perfect conditions → create a small condition you control (time box, friendly audience, draft version).
All-or-nothing thinking → split actions into first reps; review after, then scale.
Catastrophizing → write the most likely outcome and one backup plan.
Overexposure → if your nervous system spikes, reduce intensity, not effort.
Which area of life most triggers survival mode right now—work, relationships, health, money?
What micro action would count as growth today (≤10 minutes)?
Which safety anchor (breath, statement, boundary) helps you try again tomorrow?
You won’t eliminate fear; you’ll learn to move with it. Psychological safety grows from small, repeatable choices that steady your system and point you toward possibility. Choose one tiny growth step today—and protect it with a simple safety anchor.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program
Happiness Fundamentals | Needs | Values | Talents & Skills | Thoughts & Beliefs | Emotions | Empathetic Communication | Imagination | Life Purpose | Life Plan
