What Are Your Values?
How to Identify Your Core Values and Align Your Life With Them
What Are Core Values—and Why They Matter
Core values are the principles that define who you are and what matters most.
They serve as your inner compass, guiding your choices, relationships, career, and behavior—whether you realize it or not.
When your values are unclear:
- You feel torn between decisions
- You live by others’ expectations
- You experience internal conflict
When your values are clear:
- Your decisions feel more aligned
- Your life gains meaning and direction
- You feel more confident in your path
“Clarity around your values makes even the hardest decisions feel obvious.” — Sandro Formica
Why Most People Don’t Know Their Values
We’re rarely taught how to identify our values—at home, in school, or even in most workplaces.
Instead, we absorb beliefs from:
- Parents
- Religion
- Culture
- Media
- Authority figures
Over time, these influences form what psychologists call introjected values—beliefs you adopt without fully questioning if they’re truly yours.
That’s why someone may say they value “stability,” but constantly choose risk. Or claim to value “freedom,” while living in rigid structures.
The Psychology Behind Values
According to Milton Rokeach’s Value Survey, values fall into two categories:
-
Terminal values: The “end goals” of life (e.g., freedom, happiness, inner peace)
- Instrumental values: The behaviors we use to reach those goals (e.g., honesty, courage, responsibility)
Understanding this distinction helps you explore both what you want and how you get there.
How to Discover Your Values: A Step-by-Step Reflection
Step 1: Think About When You Felt Most Fulfilled
Ask:
- What were you doing?
- Who were you with?
-
Why did it matter so much?
These moments are often value-aligned.
Step 2: Identify What Makes You Angry or Upset
Values aren’t just revealed by joy—they’re also revealed by frustration.
When you feel violated or deeply disappointed, ask: “What value of mine is being ignored or threatened here?”
Step 3: Narrow It Down to Your Top 5
From your list, highlight the 5 values that feel non-negotiable.
Ask yourself:
- Would I still choose this value if no one praised me for it?
- Have I made sacrifices for this value in the past?
Step 4: Define What They Look Like in Action
Don’t just name a value like “integrity”—write what it means to you:
- “For me, integrity means doing the right thing even when it’s inconvenient.”
- “For me, creativity means making space every week to build something new.”
Live What You Truly Believe
Knowing your values isn’t a one-time activity—it’s a practice.
The more you reconnect with them, the more you begin to live by design—not by default.
“When you live your values, your life becomes a mirror of who you really are.” — Sandro Formica
So ask yourself:
- What matters most to me—when no one’s looking?
- And what would it look like to live from that place today?
That’s where clarity begins. And that’s how alignment starts.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program