E Is for Experience
How to Reframe Mistakes and Grow From Every Moment
Why the Word “Mistake” Limits Growth
We all make mistakes—but how we label them matters more than we think.
We’ve been conditioned to see mistakes as failures—evidence that we’re wrong, incapable, or not enough.
That mindset starts early:
- Red marks in school
- Parental correction
- Social embarrassment
Eventually, we associate mistakes with shame rather than growth.
“When you call something a mistake, you give it the power to define your worth.” — Sandro Formica
What if you removed the word mistake from your vocabulary and replaced it with something that empowers growth?
The Psychology of Reframing Experience
What if the way you describe something is what gives it power?
In psychology, reframing is the process of viewing a thought, situation, or emotion from a new, more empowering perspective.
Reframing "mistake" as experience transforms:
- Judgment → Curiosity
- Shame → Ownership
- Paralysis → Movement
Language isn't neutral.
It shapes the story your brain tells about who you are.
According to Dr. Carol Dweck’s growth mindset research, those who see challenges as learning experiences persist longer and perform better than those who see them as signs of failure.
The Science of Learning Through Error
Neuroscience gives us a powerful reason to stop fearing mistakes.
Neuroscientists have discovered that the brain grows more after making an error—if you pay attention to it (Moser et al., 2011).
This process, called error-related positivity, is stronger when people believe they can learn and improve.
In other words, you’re biologically wired to grow from experience—but only if you give yourself permission to do so.
How to Shift From Mistake to Experience
Reframing doesn’t happen by accident. You have to train yourself to speak and think differently—especially in moments of discomfort.
Step 1: Drop the word "mistake."
Every time you say “I made a mistake,” pause.
Replace it with:
- “I had an experience.”
- “I learned something.”
- “This taught me...”
Step 2: Ask reframing questions:
- What did this show me about myself?
- What skill or insight came out of this?
- If I had to go through it again, what would I do differently?
Step 3: Share your experiences, not your shame.
Speak your growth out loud. It rewires your identity from failure to evolution.
Final Thoughts: Redefine What Growth Looks Like
Learning isn’t about being flawless—it’s about being flexible.
Every “mistake” is an invitation.
An invitation to:
- Pause
- Reflect
- Grow
- Course-correct
And maybe even laugh.
Because your life isn’t a test. It’s a classroom.
And experience—not perfection—is the greatest teacher of all.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program