We all hold “lenses” about love, money, safety, success. Many were absorbed early or reinforced by conditioning (like the pike who stops trying after hitting glass). Positive beliefs run on autopilot and help us; negative ones hide in plain sight and block what we say we want. The fix starts with awareness.
Pick 2–3 areas and write a vivid one-liner for each:
Intimate relationship: “I want warmth, honesty, support, and shared adventures.”
Money: “I want steady income, savings, and low stress.”
Work: “I want meaningful projects and respectful teammates.”
Be factual, not judgmental. One line per area:
“We avoid hard conversations.”
“I juggle bills.”
“I’m stuck in rework and unclear roles.”
Where the want ≠ the current reality, mark it. Those are your belief hot spots.
Write 1–3 guesses per gap. Keep them simple and honest:
“If I’m not perfect, I’m rejected.”
“Money is scarce and stressful.”
“People won’t support me.”
“I’m safer not asking.”
Pick the belief that shows up in more than one area or feels most charged.
Examples:
From “Support isn’t real” → “When I ask clearly, I’m often met halfway.”
From “Money is always scarce” → “I can build stability with small, consistent moves.”
From “If I’m not perfect, I’m rejected” → “Progress and honesty earn trust.”
Beliefs change through evidence:
Relationship: “Can we talk for 10 minutes tonight about how we’re feeling this week?”
Money: Open your banking app, label one transaction, move $10 to savings.
Work: Send a clean request: “Could you review this doc for 10 minutes by 3 pm and comment on X?”
One line: What happened? How did I feel after? Save every small proof. That’s how lenses shift.
One belief per week. Don’t overhaul everything—free one behavior.
Place a cue where the trigger lives. Calendar note, sticky on laptop, phone reminder.
Track the after-glow. Energy after action = −2/−1/0/+1/+2. Keep what lifts you.
In which area is your want ≠ reality the loudest right now?
What belief would have to be true for that mismatch to persist?
What 10-minute proof will you run today to test a kinder, more accurate belief?
Misalignment isn’t a personal failure; it’s a map. Follow the gap to the belief, write a workable upgrade, and collect tiny proofs. Change the root, and the branches—thoughts, choices, results—start to move with you.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program
Happiness Fundamentals | Needs | Values | Talents & Skills | Thoughts & Beliefs | Emotions | Empathetic Communication | Imagination | Life Purpose | Life Plan
