Values are your internal priorities. They guide choices when there isn’t a rulebook. In practice, if your daily behavior conflicts with your values, happiness is almost impossible. Alignment is the lever.
Many of us inherit values from parents, culture, or work. They sound noble but don’t feel like us. Part of the work is testing whether a value actually fits your lived experience.
My example (Sandro): it took time to realize two of my core values are growth and freedom. With that clarity, my frustrations made sense—some courses I taught and tasks I accepted weren’t aligned. Naming the values gave me language to realign my day.
Acting on values doesn’t mean choosing comfort. If I value growth, I may choose hard things—asking for feedback, tackling difficult projects—because the challenge itself brings satisfaction. If I value freedom, I practice courage, like saying no when I mean no. Values-driven choices are often harder in the moment and better in the long run.
From wake-up to bedtime, notice where your time, attention, and effort go. How much of that is aligned with your top 2–5 values? Misalignment usually shows up as irritation, numbness, or “why am I doing this?” loops.
A powerful tell: the shift from “I have to” to “I want to.” After practicing these building blocks, many people stop saying “I have to.” They choose difficult actions—but from desire and meaning, not obligation.
List your top 3–5 values. Write the first words that feel true (not idealized).
Spot one daily mismatch. Where are you acting against a value? Be specific (a task, a meeting, a habit).
Name a tiny shift (≤10 minutes). One action that expresses the value today—ask for clarity, decline politely, schedule a deep-work block, practice a skill.
Repeat for a week. Same small shift, same time of day.
Review the signal. Did the action feel more “I want to” than “I have to”? Adjust and repeat.
Why this works: You’re testing values at the behavioral level. Small, repeatable actions are how alignment becomes real—not just a list on paper.
Which value explains most of your recent frustration?
Where would one honest “no” restore freedom or integrity?
What 10-minute behavior today would embody growth (or your top value)?
Happiness follows alignment. Keep the value, adjust the behavior. When your days reflect what matters most, effort feels meaningful—and life gets lighter even when the work is hard.
— Sandro Formica, PhD
Founder of Permanently Happy (questions at [email protected])
Keynote Speaker | Transforming Leaders & Organizations Through Positive Leadership & Personal Branding | Director, Chief Happiness Officer Certificate Program
Happiness Fundamentals | Needs | Values | Talents & Skills | Thoughts & Beliefs | Emotions | Empathetic Communication | Imagination | Life Purpose | Life Plan
